why?

bismillahirahmanirahim...
this blog is especially for u two to read.
i cant stand it too much. rse mcm nk pch jew kpale ble pk.
i feel like i lost everything. tp i still have u. pls, dun leave me ok? i need u time2 mcm niy.
rsenye, sume bnde dh wat, sume bnde dh explained, dh jujur. tp why it has to turn out like this again?

syg, i really2 miss the old of you. bkn you tp you n you. baby pls, npe lately ni silah rse silah dh mcm bkn kwn korang? npe gak silah rse korang dont even care for anything that i do. n yes, i can say, u never care anything about me. npe dlu kte xmcm ni? ingt x wktu2 kte spent time sme2? ingt x time kte stdy sme2? ingt x kte share secrets sme2? share tears sme2? ingt x? skang ni silah rse korang dh bkn mcm yg silah knl dlu. korang brubah sgt. n stiap kali silah ingt psl korang, msty silah akn nanges. n everything yg silah rse, sume die tau. silah rse silah dh kehilangan korang. silah rse lonely sgt2. trsgt2. i need u syg, pls. silah dh bnyk kali brdpn ngan korang, try bimbing korang, try jujur ngan korang ape yg silah rse, tp it seems nothing change. n still, i keep on hurting.

korang bnyk share sumenye due2 n never tell me. or maybe, klo korang bgtau pon, msty lmbt. n i admit, i am the last one to know bout it. dlu penah x mcm ni? xde kan. hmm.

korang xpenah care psl silah lately ni. silah pegi skola ke x ke, ade korang kesah? rsenye kalo silah masok hospital pon korang xkesah. those day, i remembered, ble xdtg je, balek dri skola, korang msty call. xcall pon msg. n asked, 'asilah, r u okay? npe xdtg. xsehat ke? dh pegi klinik? take care tau, rest bnyk2 kt umah.' mne ilank nye sume2 tu? tell me, do u still love the relationship we share? i know, sume nye mcm da ade yg punye, tp syg, bff r lot more important. sbb kte da knl lme kan. almost everything silah tau psl korang. nk kate xde kedit, xkn la 1sen pon xde? ade due henset pon xbole nk msg ke? xbole pegi public phone? xbole pnjm sape2? u know what, pnye la silah syg korang, mcm2 silah dh korbankn. almost everything yg silah syg. my time, money, things. tp silah xpenah kesah psl sume2 tu sbb silah tau sape silah kt korang n silah xhrpkn blsn pon dri korang n i know, u love me n for that reason, i sacrifice anything that i capable to give just to help u two. to see u two happy, to see u two smile n yg pling pntg, i want u to share everything that i experienced n silah nk jge hbgn yg sdie ade. silah ikhlas slme ni.

korang tau x kdg2 prangai korang tu mcm dh trlebey. n this matter silah dh jujur ngan korang kn? n silah xnk detailkn sgt yg ni. i tego u sbb i syg u. silah xnk nnty korang nyesal. jgn pntgkn bnde2 yg xpntg. jgn rugi mse bnyk sgt. korang tau kn, when i said i dont like it, i mean it. silah bkn nk kongkong idop korang tp dlu korang xde pon mcm ni? korang xseda, korang lyn silah pon da laen tau. nk mntk tlg sket pon dh xbole. even nk teman g mne2 pon xsudi. kalo bole pon mcm xikhlas. silah mntk tlg pon bnyk alsn. itu la ini la. silah ajk g mne2, korang mcm nk avoid, mcm nk jaohkn diri dri silah. yes, i can feel it. dlu slalu balek umah silah, slalu tdo umah silah, slalu lepak sme2, slalu smbg2, slalu tu slalu ni. now, dh xde dh slalu tu. korang xtau ke yg silah alone? korang xrealise ape yg silah rse bile korang wt silah cmtu. pedih tau x hati ni. sedeh sgt2.
dlu ade kwn nk share problem, ade yg dga, ade yg nsht, ade yg care, tp now? i only have my family n him. patotnye, u two should know what is inside of me. silah rse silah jaoh sgt2 ngan korang. jaoh sgt. mcm silah ni org asing dlm idop korang. dh mcm xrpt mcm dlu. syg, geng silah, korang je kn. pls, im begging u, pls stop making me hurt lg. almost every nite i cried bout u two. yes, i cried a lot. mse silah tgh tulis blog ni pon i cried.

silah try cari mne slh silah. maybe i am wrong. so, silah mntk maaf kalo silah yg slh. ni ape yg silah rse. silah rse chemistry kte mcm dh xstrong mcm dlu. tp knape? hmm. mybe ni ujian dri Nya untk kte tige. tp there must be a way for all these. sume mslh slme ni, sume ade jln. tp npe ujian kali ni mcm susah sgt2 nk cari jln untk slesaikn. ya Allah, tabahkn hambamu ini.

korang msty prasan npe lately ni silah brubah. yes, i admit. when i get closer to u, i am hurt in the inside. sume tu sbb ape yg korang dh wat kt silah slme ni. silah sje mls nk lyn prasaan sedey nih. tp kdg2 silah pk, kalo silah trus cmni, silah msty dh xrpt ngan korang lg. n i dont want that to be happen between us. silah kdg2 mls nk pk n mls nk tnjuk prasaan silah kt korang. slme ni, im being hipokrit tau. im just saying that im okay but it is absolutel not true. im just saying that im happy n forgive u two, but i really am sad n hurt.

silah mntk sgt kte jd mcm dlu balek. silah ikhlas kwn ngan korang. but please, dont make me cry again n again. silah rindu time2 kte dlu. silah rndu time kte sme2. silah syg hbgn kte. n silah syg sgt kt korang. silah tulis blog ni just nk express my feeling so that u two know ape yg silah rse slme ni. rse berat sgt kpale silah ble ingt sume2 niy. please, can we start all over again? n please, heal back my heart. i need u two.

u r my best friend n i will always call u as my best friend each n every single time because i know, best friends last forever.

i really am sorry bcoz i have to say all this out.
i love you fara ena. i really do.





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